Feb. 3rd, 2014

hawthorneox: (LiraStars)
"If you do no jump, I will push you."

Or in other words, how I fell ass-first into realizing what I'm doing is scary as shit.

Raw emotions below; I'm still staggering under the weight of all this )

Normally writing here in LJ, I've already processed most of my emotions and it's more of a, "Here how I was feeling, now here's how I am going to handle this." rather than a raw emotions dump.... but I can't process this. It staggers me to think I actually succeeded in doing something in the real world. Not getting a million hits/comments/likes on a picture I posted, not having people randomly message me on Tumblr going, "Hey I like your stuff.", not anything digital. My art is hanging up in a deli about fifteen minutes up the road.... and probably is in horrendous need of rearranging and new frames...but FUCK.

I'm just numb right now. Never thought I'd get this far, yeah? Like a cat chasing birds, but not actually knowing what to do when they manage to actually catch one.

I know the solution is probably just to pick up my pencil and keep on trucking.... everything is just still so shocky and new and overwhelming, I don't even have any idea where to start.

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