hawthorneox: (LiraStars)
Slowly chugging along in my Adulting business. Called Dad to let him know what was up for Thanksgiving work hours. Paid both my phone and car bills. Now to just hope that next week's paycheck will take a chunk out of my rent. Fnrgh, gotta remember to order checks tomorrow. Otherwise, haha, paying rent is gonna be annoying.


Drawing in graphite after doodling with colored pencils is such a weird switch. I'm sortof enjoying it MORE, though I'm still scared to ink anything I've drawn. Gonna try to do some of that today though.

Whfffff, so after an extended break from drawing, I'm turning more introspective about the lack of art I'm doing. There are a handful of dichotomies I'm facing (because I am nothing if not a walking catch-22), in no particular order:

~ I miss drawing characters. In the past few years, I've wanted to try drawing more fanart under the pretense of practicing my color theory/composition/stylization. I mean, it sounds like a solid theory. Take a character that already has an established set of features, then draw them differently than as presented in the context of their canon. Homestuck has some AMAZING artists that exemplify this.

Turns out I am more hypercritical of myself than I initially thought, or things have just been that stressful, because I haven't turned out much of anything at all with these parameters. I see all of these amazing pictures and honestly, some of them feel like the characters used were just vehicles for a larger, "I just wanted to mess around with this idea." premise.

Which, I mean, I could use. God knows I've been itching to pick up my oil pastels again. Or any other half dozen techniques I've been wanting to fuss with.




My brain is just getting in the way again. I think that's the moral of the story to this particular vein of ranting. I haven't done nearly enough art (fannish or otherwise) to even gauge what I'm doing right now. Urgh, I may just cut this short because I think I found the shiny red motivation button to hit to get myself going again. I do have stuff to ink, which is a step ahead of where I was a few weeks ago. I do also have a few ideas I've been kicking around. Actual full-pictures I want to do... watercolor, of course. I'm still amazed that after my years-long hatred of them, they are honestly one of my favorite mediums now. Funny how that works out.

Left myself enough threads here I may pick up shuffling more words around later. I do have some legitimate concerns/observations about my lack of definition to my drawings right now.... I just also think that it's best for me to actually, y'know, DRAW MORE because I completely decide that what I'm producing right now is rubbish.

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June 2014

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