Hey guys? I could use some that music right about now...

Cracked gasket in Fern's engine. Radiator is leaking coolant/antifreeze. Engine overheats in about 2 minutes of driving.

I was going to strip wallpaper before work today, but now it looks like I get to fight with my mother about fixing Fern versus just trying to get a new car. Again.

I don't have the money for any of this right now, much less my rent/bills/Christmas presents/moving that's going to be coming up in the next month.

I. Am. Boned.

And not in the pleasurable way either.

I was trying not to angst this season... I mean, I was feeling pretty good on Thanksgiving hey? Mom brought up the fact that my older cousin is about to graduate college and as soon as he and his girl (who is about to finish her Master's) have $5 grand in the bank, they're getting hitched... my little cousin is trying to get into the branch of medicine that does sonograms, so she'll know by next month if she gets there...she's finishing all sorts of tests and whatnot... I mean, I was fine with that, because after she said all that, Mom told me she was almost happy that I liked girls... Hell, what kind of ego boost is that, yanno? I also realized that no matter what my cousins were doing, I was happy with how my Life here is... Just because I'm not finishing schol doesn't mean I've got my own plans in the works. Plans I actually LIKE and believe in... I like my Life as it is, so I wasn't even feeling bad about that.
Hell, I walked into work today whistling... on Black Friday, I walked into work with a smile on my face and ready to help customers. After 6 hours of sleep and two nights shifts under my belt.

I thought I was doin' good yanno? Rent coming out of this paycheck, my Thanksgiving bonus going towards Christmas gifts for everyone... I found my mom the awesomest gift evar... I even had the rest of the month plotted out, in order to finish stripping wallpaper in my room, cleaning it, painting it. I'm trying my damndest to not even get neurotic over the move itself (y helo thar 5 days of no work except moving).

I have this poster... I got it because it fits my Life. Completely. It's a 2'x3' poster, right over my computer that reads: MURPHY'S LAW Murphy was an optimist... and tt's full of all sorts of Murphy's Law sayings. Like: "A bird in the hand is safer than one overhead." and "A pipe gives a wise man time to think and a fool something to stick in his mouth". Also, "Celibacy is not hereditary".
One of these sayings mocks me more than ever right now... moreso than usual anyway...

"If you're feelings good, don't worry, you'll get over it."

Fuck you Murphy. Fuck you and the horse you rode in on.

As long as you'll be my friend at the end ~ ♫

So apparently the Honda auto-shop doesn't open until Monday. Same as my health food store (which means no !@#@$in' vitamins for me until then, >_<). Mom's also told me not to worry about the bill because of Christmas, although if it's something insane like $3000, I may as well be getting a new car. I have her car now, she's renting one for the week until we get the total time/cost of fixing Fern.

I fell "asleep" sometime around 6, mom woke me up at 9 and I have to be at work by 4.30 today. Obviously I'm missing most of HAAS tonight.

See previous post for further details and angst. I'm going to go try to curb this raging fever and nausea.

I don't know whether to be proud of myself or not for not having broken down crying yet. I think the shock still hasn't worn off yet.